


The Replacement Santa and His Lovely Assistant

by michele659



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, First Christmas, Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Oblivious Danny "Danno" Williams, Oblivious Steve McGarrett, Romance, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 20:42:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16940376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michele659/pseuds/michele659
Summary: From the prompt  "Danny's father is Santa Claus by huntress_69 ,. Thanks for the prompt!Santa gets hurt-guess who has to be the replacement (and his assistant) and save Christmas? I got this idea while watching “The Santa Clause,” but it doesn’t really follow that story.





	The Replacement Santa and His Lovely Assistant

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Advent Calendar Challenge on lj 2010  
> Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Hawaii 5-0

******

Steve and Danny were putting the final touches on Danny’s Christmas tree, arguing about how it looked (“Sorry ass excuse for a tree,” “Danny, IT’S PERFECT!”) when Danny’s phone went off.

Steve smiled when he heard Bruce Springsteen’s “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” as Danny’s ringtone.

“Really, Danny? Who gets the honor of having that song as their ringtone?”

Danny didn’t answer, but he hurriedly picked up, a concerned look on his face.

“Dad? Hey, what’s wrong? Aren’t you a little busy to be calling me now?”

Steve smirked. “You have ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’ as the ringtone for your father? How old are you, really?”

“Shh, please would you be quiet for one moment?” Danny sighed. “No, Dad I didn’t get married again. That’s my partner. He’s here helping me get the tree ready for tomorrow when Gracie comes.” Silence and then Danny shook his head as though his father could see him through the phone. “No, not THAT KIND OF PARTNER!... No, I am NOT lying to you! Dad, DAD, please!” He lowered his voice. “Dad, please tell me why you’re calling me on this of all nights!... Oh shit-sorry, Dad. Are you alright? How the hell-sorry-did you hurt your ankle?... Oh for fuck’s sake- SORRY DAD! - but didn’t I tell you to watch out for those wires around the Christmas tree? You know people get carried away with those things and they don’t even think about you!"

Steve, who had been staring open mouthed at Danny during this exchange finally blurted out, “Danny, what the hell is going on?”

Danny put his hand up, signaling for Steve to wait a moment. “No, again. That’s Steve, my partner at work!... Look, Dad, give it a rest will you? No, don’t go telling Mom I have a boyfriend.... Oh, God –hi Mom- no, he’s not my boyfriend. Look, how is Dad? I know he hurt his ankle-yes I told him the same thing and no he never listens. Just like my partner Steve. No- not just like my partner- I take that back! So, how bad is his ankle?” Danny groaned. “Oh, no, so what’s going to happen tonight? he asked uneasily. “No, absolutely not! I cannot do that! Why? You know why! Mom, Mom please stop crying! And tell Dad that he is not going to make me feel guilty about all the children who aren’t going to get their toys.” Danny sighed. “Yes, I know that includes Gracie.... I do so care about my daughter’s feelings, Mom! MOM! Please-give the phone to Dad. Yes, I’ll do it. I need help though.... No- Mom I’m not bringing my partner and please don’t say it that way. Like you don’t believe he works with me! ... Oh, so you believe he works with me but you don’t believe he’s just my work partner. Well, get in line, Mom. You’re not the first.... No- I do not think that means the universe is trying to tell us something. MOM! Put Dad on, PLEASE!”

Steve sat down on the sofa, his eyes fixed on Danny. He looked frightened.

“Yes, Dad I’ll do it.... No, I’m not bringing Steve.... Oh, alright! I’ll ask him! No, he’s not a very good driver, Dad. I’m not sharing driving responsibilities with him. We’re bound to have an accident with some poor bird or something. So, who’s coming for us?” Danny groaned. “Jenny and Bruce, really? No, it’s ok. Yeah, I love you too, Dad. Feel better! ... What? Take Gracie with me? Are you really crazy? ... Yes, I know you aren’t going to see her now! What about Rachel?... Yes, her. She won’t let me just take Gracie like that!... Well, yeah I guess we could do that. I’d better not get into trouble though Dad. You know Grace means everything to me.” Danny got a bit teary eyed as he spoke of Grace, and Steve reached out to rub his back (although he still had no clue what was going on). “Thanks Steve,” Danny smiled at him. “Yeah, Steve. He was comforting me. You know how emotional I get about her.... Yeah, he’s a very nice guy.... He IS a good partner- oh would you stop! I’m hanging up now-see you later! Bye!” Danny hung up the phone and sighed. “We’re going to the North Pole.”

*****

“Danny-what are you talking about?” Steve asked, sure that Danny had finally lost it.

“Didn’t you hear my conversation? My father- he’s Santa Claus, and he hurt his ankle because someone left the wires from the tree lights around the tree and he tripped! He had to go home.” Danny glared at Steve. “It could’ve happened in your house, the way you just let those wires hang all over the place.”

“Danny! “ He put his arm around his partner and hugged him. “I’m sorry. I guess I have pushed you hard. I shouldn’t have. You’re having delusions!”

Danny had leaned back into Steve’s chest for a moment, happy to have some body contact with him. When he heard the rest of the sentence he shrugged Steve off and said, “Stop that! I’m not having delusions! You heard the phone call I just had!”

“I know you had a conversation,” Steve shook his head, sadly. “I just don’t think the person on the other end said any of those things you said your parents did. I mean, come on, Danny? Santa and Mrs. Claus? The North Pole?”

Just then there was a loud crash through Danny’s ceiling.

Danny groaned. “Oh come on, guys. Every single time you visit you HAVE to crash through the ceiling? That’s how I almost got kicked out of the last place!”

“Oww!” One of the figures on the floor yelled while the other one moaned.

Then they sprung up simultaneously and said, “Hey Danny!”

One of them (Jenny, Steve logically assumed, since the other one was a guy) said, “Danny, we wouldn’t have gone through the ceiling if someone,” she pointed at Bruce, “had thought to ask before setting the coordinates on our space packs.” She shook her head at all three of them. “Men! You’re always afraid to ask for directions!”

Bruce stood up and shook himself off. “Sorry, Danny! We’ll-“he paused when he saw Jenny glaring at him, “I mean I’ll come back and fix it for you as soon as we’re finished for the night.”

“Oh my God! You have all these people involved in your delusion! Don’t encourage him!”

“Steve, you’re being rude to my guests! “ Danny yelled. “Apologize to them,” he demanded.

“Danny!” Jenny beamed, clapping her hands. “You got married again!”

Both Steve and Danny groaned. “No! We’re NOT married!”

Jenny looked puzzled and Bruce looked skeptical. “You sound married to me! Besides,” she walked around Danny and gave him an appraising glance, “you look happy. You look like you’re in love. I could always tell with you Danny!”

“Jenny!” Danny said, warningly. “Bruce-help me out here!”

“Can’t do it, Danny. You DO look like you’re in love.”

“Oh, fu- sorry- let’s just forget it! Let’s go, now before you totally embarrass me!”

“Nice looking man, too,” Jenny smiled at Steve and winked.

Steve blinked a few times, thinking that maybe if he did so there wouldn’t be two three feet people in Danny’s living room, one of whom was –smiling and winking at him!

“What’s wrong with your boyfriend?” Bruce asked.

“He’s NOT- oh, forget it. There’s nothing wrong with him; he’s just a bit in shock. It’s not every day that two elves come crashing through the ceiling.”

“Oh. Oh!” Jenny looked at Danny in dismay. “You didn’t tell him?”

“”No Jenny I didn’t. It’s not the kind of thing that comes up in normal conversation,” Danny looked at Steve. “They’re elves,” he said, in a matter of fact tone.

“Come on-elves!” Steve got his stern face on and said, “You both should be ashamed of yourselves. Pretending to be elves! Can’t you see Danny’s a sick man?”

“Oh for God’s sake, Steve-“Danny began.

“Hey, we don’t like being talked to like that,” Bruce scowled at Steve.

“Oh you don’t? Well I don’t give a –“

“Steve!” Danny implored. “You do not want to get them angry!”

“Danny, they’re each three feet tall and look like I could blow them over with a feather!”

Danny, momentarily distracted by the image of Steve blowing anything, didn’t answer for a second.

Jenny sneered at Steve. “You don’t know what you’re dealing with. We’re your worst nightmare. Elves with attitudes.” She came close to Steve making him feel uncomfortable (in spite of the fact that she only came up to his knees).

“Jenny!” Danny snapped out of the reverie which had included Steve’s lips blowing feathers- as well as some other things-and said, “He’s sorry. Let’s just go before my Dad kills all of us!”

“Oh, alright,” Jenny reluctantly agreed. “Come on you two. Hold hands and we’ll get out of here.”

“What? Danny what the fuck?”

“Such language!” Bruce was aghast. “And in front of a lady!”

“Steve just please shut up for two seconds and do what they say. We don’t have much time!”

Fearing Danny was having a psychotic break Steve thought it wise to comply, and he grabbed a hold of Danny’s hands.

“Awww, aren’t they cute, Bruce?” Jenny asked.

“Yes, they’re adorable,” Bruce said with a smile.

“Oh my God, kill me now,” Danny said, blushing. Jenny and Bruce put their hands on Danny and Steve’s and they shot up into the air.

They went very high into the sky, Steve screaming the whole time and Danny laughing.

***

They fell entangled into a large embankment of snow.

“What is this place?” Steve asked as he tried to blink the snow out of his eyes. “It’s –holy shit, it’s cold!”

“Yeah, no kidding smart guy. This is the North Pole!”Jenny said.

Steve laughed until he noticed Danny’s face. “Danny, why aren’t you laughing?”

“Because this IS the North Pole! See the sign!”

Steve looked and saw the sign Danny was pointing to.

“No-it can’t be! “

“It is!” Jenny yelled. She took something out of her backpack that proved to be a parka. “Put this on before you freeze! There are gloves in the pockets!” She took another one out and threw it to Danny. “Now come on, we have to see your Dad!”

They ran to the house, which Steve could swear looked just like all those he’d seen in Christmas stories about the North Pole and Santa’s house.

“Oh my God- it IS Santa Claus!” he exclaimed as Danny ran to his father and hugged him.

There, sitting with his bandaged foot up on a stool, was Santa Claus!

Santa laughed. “This must be your boyfriend!” Danny was just about to yell at his father to please, please not say that again when Santa said, “Hey Laura! Elves! Danny’s here!”

Danny was immediately surrounded by a sweet looking woman with blonde hair and glasses and hundreds (or so it seemed to Steve) of elves.

They all took turns kissing and hugging him. Danny knew them all by name and kissed and hugged them back.

Santa looked at the woman Steve assumed was Mrs. Claus and said, “This is Danny’s young man.”

“DAD!” Danny groaned. He was even more embarrassed when his mother ran to kiss Steve, saying “Welcome to the family” over and over again.

Meanwhile, the elves let out a collective cheer and started to applaud.

“Thank the stars!” one of them said. “We were so worried about Danny after his divorce! How wonderful that he’s found love again!”

Danny suddenly wished for a huge hole to open up, sending all of them into the ocean (including him).

Steve was giving him a very pleased and very smug grin.

“Okay, I am going to tell all of you this one time. Steve is NOT my boyfriend! And I’m just fine, thank you.”

Steve smiled and whispered to Mrs. Claus, “He’s stubborn, isn’t he?”

“Oh my, yes!” She shook her head. “You’ll have your hands full with this one.”

“Don’t even say a word,” Danny warned as he saw the gleam in Steve’s eye.

“What? I was just going to agree with your mother that I’ll have my hands full with you.”

“And yet- you keep talking,” Danny muttered to no one in particular.

“They sound like we do sometimes,” Mrs. Claus laughed.

“Dad, you want me to do this for you? Then leave me alone about my love life and give me the damn suit!”

“Such a temper you have! Sweetie, are you getting enough rest?” Danny’s mother asked.

“I don’t get ANY sleep, and I’m always exhausted-because of him!” he looked at Steve accusingly and then covered his face with his hands as everyone laughed. “I’m –I just made it worse, didn’t I? “

Steve laughed way too much for someone who was going to be beaten by the end of the night Danny thought.

“Go- take the suit and put it on. Your- Steve has his own suit,” Santa said.

“Wait-what?” Steve looked perplexed and suddenly wary.

Now it was Danny’s turn to smirk. “If I’m Santa then you’re going to be my little elf-Sweetie,” he stressed the last word, and was secretly pleased when Steve looked horrified.

“But- I can’t be an elf! That’d be more for you than me!”

“Oh really, Steve? Why would that be?” Danny asked.

“Because elves are – and you are- and I’m-“Steve stammered.

“So close to having the wrath of all of the elves come down on you at once,” Jenny helpfully finished the sentence.

Steve sputtered, “I’m –I’m sorry! I didn’t mean-“

Jenny threw him a suit. “Just put this on. You’re freakishly tall, but you’ll have to do.”

Danny smiled.

****

A few minutes later they walked out of their rooms and looked at each other and laughed until they could hardly stand up.

“Come on, boys. You two don’t have time for frivolity,” Laura said. “Now, here are some cookies for the road. You know what to do. And don’t forget that you promised to bring Gracie back with you, so we expect to see her tonight as well!”

“I promise, Mom!” Danny said and kissed his mother. “Dad, feel better. I’ll see you later!” He kissed his father and called to Steve to hurry up and join him outside.

“Goodbye,-Santa and- Mrs. Claus. I can’t tell you how happy I am to have met you!”

“The same for us dear,” Mrs. Claus said. “Now you be sure and come back with Danny when he comes with Grace. We should have a real family Christmas dinner together.”

“Mrs. Claus,” Steve cleared his throat, “Danny and I really ARE only work partners.”

Santa and Mrs. Claus looked at each other and laughed.

“You two- you are so funny,” Mrs. Claus said.

“You’re as clueless as my son,” Santa shook his head. “Don’t worry, Steve. He loves you, too.”

Steve knew he was blushing, but he couldn’t think of anything to say.

He was going to try protesting again when he heard Danny yelling: “Come on, Steve!”

“Gotta go!” Steve said. “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas!” they said in unison.

****

“Look at this sleigh- isn’t it amazing?” Danny asked, proudly. “It’s got GPS, music, and look at this”, he popped open a compartment that had two hot chocolate dispensers on one side and a coffee/cappuccino maker on the other. “There’s also central heating, which is important when you’re flying as high as we will be, Steve,” Danny reminded

Steve was still hearing Danny’s fathers words echoing in his ears, so he didn’t answer right away.

“Steve, wow-are you speechless with awe? Oh, you’re wondering why we don’t have reindeer? This is a high powered machine! Come on, we have to get in!” When Steve remained rooted in place, just staring Danny sighed. “Look, no one will see the suit, ok? They’re all sleeping. Now come on!”

Steve got in the sleigh and glanced sideways at Danny.

“What? Ok, I know I should’ve told you this before, but there really wasn’t a good time to say it, was there? I mean, if I told you this and you hadn’t seen it with your own eyes you’d have thought I was crazy, wouldn’t you?”

Steve continued to stare.

“What is with the stare and the face? Are you concerned we won’t get everything done in one night? Because this thing can alter the space/ time continuum! So wherever we go it will be Christmas eve/early Christmas morning!’

For lack of something to say, Steve announced he wanted to drive.

Danny laughed. “You can’t drive Santa’s sleigh! That’s only me! And you have to listen to me while we have these suits on!”

Steve scoffed and Danny wasted no time in bringing the elves around. “Stop loading the sleigh for a moment. Tell Steve here whose the head elf tonight?”

“You are, Danny!”

“And who is your supervisor?”

“You are Danny!”

And does anyone but the head elf get to ride the sleigh?”

Several of them laughed and pointed at Steve. “He thinks he can drive Santa’s sleigh!”

“Oh, that’s funny! Only Santa and Danny can do that!” The elves laughed so hard that Steve was afraid they’d fall to the floor.

Some instinct of self preservation kept Steve from responding that Santa Claus himself had apparently suggested it to Danny.

They climbed in, and took off. Steve looked around, trying to absorb all of it.

“This is beautiful, Danny!”

“Isn’t it?” Danny looked down at the ground as it got smaller and smaller.

Steve looked down at the North Pole and then looked up at the stars.

“The world is getting smaller and the sky is getting bigger. I like it! I like being so close to the stars.”

Danny smiled at Steve’s enthusiasm and touched his hand.

Steve covered Danny’s hand with his own.

“You know, your parents –they think you’re in love with me,” he laughed.

Danny was silent but Steve could see that he was getting red.

“Danny?”

“You are going to listen to a woman in a red flannel dress and a huge man with a long beard and glasses?”

“You didn’t answer, Danny,” Steve said.

“It’s not worth talking about,” Danny remarked.

“Oh, I think it is,” Steve smiled. “And I think the reason you don’t want to answer is because it’s true.”

“Yeah, well they also said we were together and in love with each other, so there you go. They obviously don’t know what they’re talking about!” Danny said, firmly.

Steve smiled. Danny had the same expression he had that day he insisted he wasn’t jealous of Steve’s old partner.

Out of all the wonderful and amazing things that happened to him this night, the thing Steve was happiest about was that Danny Williams was in love with him.

And before this night was over he was going to make him say it.

Because the truth was, Steve loved Danny too.

The world suddenly looked illuminated, and Steve was filled with a sense of joy for the future for the first time in ages.

“Merry Christmas, Danny!” he yelled, and then looked down and repeated it to everyone on the ground.

“Hey, that’s my line!” Danny pretended to be annoyed, then let out what Steve swore sounded like “ho-ho-ho” and called, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!” as they flew across the sky.

The End


End file.
